"fires of darkness" review
one of the worst books i've ever read, in the best way
Fires of Darkness is a story about an obvious authorial self-insert who solves every single problem she encounters, no matter how complex, with zero resistance and often within two or three pages.
This is a story that feels a burning need to explain in excruciating detail the minutiae of its protagonist getting dressed, and yet dispatches entire major plot points in a sentence or two. On many occasions it feels as though the author realized she failed to establish some prior backstory or detail, and decided to essentially clarify it in a parenthetical rather than do any real worldbuilding or exposition.
The book is absolutely littered with spelling and grammar mistakes, and some sentences that are actually impossible to decipher.
It's creatively bereft, mechanically incapable, and it's absolutely hilarious. It has numerous nearly identical sex scenes, each more unnecessary than the last. On multiple occasions the protagonist gleefully kicks a man in his "partially aroused" genitals. At one point the protagonist's husband reveals he had been abused as a child. She then finds the abusive mother, brings her to the palace, and after an approving nod from her husband, rips the woman's head off with her bare hands. This all happens in the span of a few pages. There is no context for any of this; it’s as sudden as it is hysterical.
Fires of Darkness is an abomination of a book, truly masterful in its ineptitude, but one which made me laugh, genuinely out loud, more times than any intentionally comedic book I've ever read in my life. Judged strictly on its merits I would give this the lowest possible score. Considering the actual unintentional enjoyment I got from it, I'm giving it 2 stars.
I can't wait for the next.